Don't You Think I've Tried?
by Tina Titan
Summary: It's been a few weeks since Starfire died. Nightwing (Robin) has shut himself away, but what happens when his daughter confronts him. One shot. Mild swearing
1. Chapter 1: Don't you think I've tried?

**Author's note: Hey, guys. So I promised I'd get a story up. Still working on the origin stuff, but I reached a small block. So this is a one shot after Kor'i (Starfire) dies in my story The Faults In Our Lives. I hope you enjoy it.**

**EDITS: So I went back through and edited this story because I love it so much. Anyhoo. I'm a little better from last week (not massively, but kinda.) **

It's been a few weeks since Kor'i had died. To say things were back to normal would be a lie. The adults who had just spent three years in captivity are still getting use to being with their kids again and dealing with the fact they aren't kids anymore. The teens are adjusting to having their parents back in their lives, because at this point they had a routine of their own and their parents are out of place. For some it's been easier, but for others...not so much. The Graysons being in the latter category.

Having lost their mother after spending a few hours with her, the young Grayson triplets had changed. Sapphire now had screaming fits whenever she messed up and hurt herself as she trains, the latest being a broken wrist. Richie hadn't said a word since the funeral, which wasn't uncommon, but Matt swore to the others he'd heard Richie breaking furniture in his room and screaming. The most drastic change was Emerald. She'd always been the most like her mother, laughing and babbling at top speed, slipping in and out of Tamaranian, flying around the tower more than she walked. No one could get her to laugh or even smile in over five weeks. She just sat quietly, looking out the window, trying to hold herself together. The two that no one saw major changes in were Nightwing and Sophie. This doesn't surprise anyone, since the two having years of suppressing their emotions under their belts to keep them normal.

No one knows how much it's been eating away at both of them. Sophie's heart seems to break every morning because for one moment she would forget her mother was gone. Dick has pulled away frrom everyone, even his children. Neither knows how to ask for help. So they go about their days as normal. Training, hacking, fighting bad guys, making sure the league has up to date records, more training, calming Sapphire down when she gets into one of her rages, pushing food away, staying up well into the night working, working, working. Everyone knows it's a matter of time before they break.

Sophie helps Emerald button up her blouse after her nap. The little girl looks her big sister in the eyes and Sophie feels her heart break. Emerald is a carbon copy of their mother, same pure green eyes and same fiery red hair that curled or straightened as it pleases. Sophie pushes the heart break down.

"Is Daddy angry at me?" Emerald asks.

"Why would you think Daddy is angry at you?" Sophie frowns. Their father had more or less locked his children out, but Sophie knew it was just an emotional response. It didn't mean that he was angry… did it?

"When he looks at me, his face tenses up. He never talks to me. Did I do something wrong?"

"Daddy is just… sad, Em. I promise he isn't angry." Emerald doesn't look convinced. Sophie pulls her sister into a tight hug.

"You seem angry too." Emerald mumbles into her sister's ear," You and Daddy get the same face when you look at me."

"I just miss Mommy." Sophie sighs. A flash of a ghost passes before her. Her mother picks her up, tickling her belly and singing to her. Sophie bites her lip, hard, to keep from crying.

"I miss her too." Emerald says," But I don't understand why you look at me like that."

Emerald and her siblings are much smarter than most four year olds, but Sophie forgets that they're still naive about somethings. Sophie closes her eyes and sighs.

"Emmy, I am sorry if I've made you think you've done something wrong. You look so much like Mommy, that it hurts to see you." Emerald's eyes well up with tears.

"I'm sorry! I can't help it." She cries.

"I know, baby. I know. It's not your fault and to be honest I'm jealous. You get to see Mommy every time you look in the mirror, and Mommy was very pretty." Sophie offers her sister a tense smile that the toddler doesn't return. Sophie sends her to the living room so she can get a snack and goes in search of her father. She finds him, where else, in his office working. She knocks on the door frame," Dad, do you have a second to talk?"

"I'm busy, honey." He says quickly.

"It's about Emerald." Sophie sees her father's head perk up at his youngest daughter's name," She thinks we're angry at her."

"Why would she think that?" He turns to face her. His thick black hair is streaked with grey and his once bright blue eyes are dull and surrounded by dark bags. She briefly wonders how she looks in his eyes. She isn't the his little girl anymore, she's been through too much shit to be that, but some part of her wants him to grab her and tell her everything is ok. Dick studies his daughter, and wonders what's going through her head.

"She says every time we look at her we tense up." Sophie steps in so the door closes.

"I'll talk to her." He turns away, assuming that will be the end of the conversation.

"When?"

"When I'm not busy."

"Dad, we both know that won't be happening anytime soon." He whips around.

"Excuse me, young lady?"

"You're going to keep yourself busy and you're going to ignore them." the words come out more bitter than she meant for them to be, but she does nothing to change her tone.

"I'm doing my best-"

"To bury the pain. Don't you think I did the same thing when you all got captured?!" Her volume begins to raise as the pain she'd forced down comes back up," It's not going to work and you're going to hurt them-"

"Don't you dare tell me how to raise my children!" He's suddenly towering over his daughter. She laughs, too loudly and too short to be real.

"You haven't been here long enough to raise them! Who do you think changed their diapers?! Who stayed up all night with them when they were sick?! Who sang them to sleep after they woke up from a nightmare?! Who let them stay in their bed when they couldn't fall back asleep?!" She growls," You've been gone for three and a half years!"

"That wasn't my fault!" He shouts.

"I'm not saying it is," She shouts back," But ignoring them isn't going to help!"

"IT'S WORKED BEFORE!"  
"BEFORE ISN'T NOW, DAD!" Sophie yells," I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU, BUT YOU'RE BEING SO FUCKING STUBBORN!"

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO HELP ME!" Her father yells," I AM YOUR FATHER, I DON'T NEED YOU TO FIX ME!"

"I'M NOT TRYING TO FIX YOU! I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM DESTROYING OUR FAMILY! WE DON'T HAVE OUR MOTHER ANYMORE AND YOU'VE MADE IT SO WE BARELY HAVE OUR FATHER! IT'S NOT FAIR THAT YOU'VE PULLED AWAY FROM US!" It feels good to scream. It feels good to get angry. She's never seen him this angry. His eyes narrow and his face turns red. He keeps his arms at his side, fist clenched tightly. He gets angry just like she does," I HATED IT WHEN YOU DID THIS TO ME WHEN I WAS LITTLE! YOU DIDN'T LET ME IN AND I AM THROUGH TRYING!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, MAR'I?!"

"I WANT MY DAD BACK! I WANT TO STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING MOTHER TO MY BROTHER AND SISTERS! I'VE HAD TO DO IT SINCE I WAS 14 AND I AM OVER IT! YOU'RE HERE, YOU'RE BACK, YOU'RE ALIVE! IT'S FINE TO MOURN MOM, BUT NOT LOCKING OUT YOUR KIDS! I WANT YOU TO BE A FUCKING FATHER TO YOUR CHILDREN!" She screams so loud it feels like her throat is tearing in half,"AND THE ONLY WAY THAT IT FEELS LIKE I CAN GET THAT IS TO HELP YOU! SO WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU?!"

"YOU WANT TO HELP?!" He shouts," BRING YOUR MOTHER BACK!"

"DON'T YOU THINK I'VE TRIED!" It's suddenly very quiet. Sophie's voice breaks as she talks," Don't you think that I've asked Aunt Rae and Aunt Zatanna and Lila and everyone I could think of? I've researched spell after spell, spending hours and hours trying to find someone or something that can help. I have spent weeks looking for an answer, but there's nothing. Mom is gone. And she would hate you for abandoning your children."

"I haven't abandoned you!" He meant to shout that, but seeing her holding back tears, he can't bring himself to.

"Yeah, you have. I'm use to it, but Emmy, Sapphy, and Richie had six months with you before you all were taken. They don't remember you. Now all they know is how distant you are, how cold you can be. They know the worst of you." The two look at each other in silence. The few times they'd fought in the past, this has happened. They reached a point in their fights where there was nothing left they could say. That's usually where her mother would come in, and she wouldn't say anything, just look at them like she knew everything they felt no matter how hard they pushed it down. Kor'i was so much better dealing with fights. She was better at being a mom. She was just better.

And now she's gone.

**Author's note: DRAMA! no seriously. i know i left the last officially chapter of The Faults in Our Lives, meaning pre-epilogue, on a cliffhanger and the epilogue didn't capture how much the death affected the Grayson family. This is still early stages of grief, but I figure it would pave the way to some other stories involving the triplets.**

**EDIT: DRAMA! Sorry couldn't resist. I still love this story. It didn't spawn the stories I thought it would, but the stories I did write have been good.**


	2. Chapter 2: What Can I Do?

**Author's note: Hi, guys! Since i saw how many people read this story (and no one sent me any death threats) I figured i could do a few more chapters of this story. They'll be fairly short and be posted at random times so don't assume this will be the major story for this year. That's going to be the origin stories for my kids which i still need to 1. figure out how i'm going to post them and 2. write them. You will see a lot of interaction with their parents as well as their parents reactions as they watch their kids grow in the origin stuff. Ok, that's all. Review, favorite, follow, etc.**

**Edit: Still no death threats. Still updating. I might add a chapter where you see the Graysons immediately after Starfire dies.**

Dick Grayson has plenty in his life to feel guilty about in his life- everything from personal fails to mission fails, but the times that the guilt was most horrible was when he messed up with his kids. He hasn't spent a lot of time with his younger kids, but that's not his fault. Sapphire has his and Kor'i's temper, but she also has his intelligence and her mother's mercy. Richie is definately his son, with the same stoic nature. Emerald… His throat closes as he thinks of his youngest daughter. He loves them all, but it hurts to be near them.

The guilt that's eating away at him right now is due to his oldest daughter. Sophie had come into his office an hour ago worried about her little sister and it ended with them fighting. He rarely fought with her like that when she was thirteen. Mostly they argued about training or missions, things that not a lot of fathers discussed with their daughters. Dick hangs his head and sighs. Who was he kidding? It's been three and a half years since he last had a hand raising his children. He's not a father to them anymore. Not the kind they deserve anyway.

"Hey, man." Wally and Artemis come into the office where he has been hold up for the last two days. They're two of his oldest friends, and even they have a hard time figuring out what he's thinking.

"Hey, What's up?"

"Two of your daughters just yelled at each other fo a solid five minutes. Sapphire was going on about how Sophie wasn't her mother and she could go to hell. Sophie yelled something about how she was trying and no one fucking saw it." Artemis raises an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to explain.

"We had a fight."

"No shit, sherlock." Artemis sits on his desk and half stares half glares at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that!?"

"Because we're worried about you, dumbass," Wally leans against the desk opposite to his wife. They clearly weren't going to leave until they heard everything, so that's what he told them. Wally shakes his head," Dude, really?"

"How am I at fault?" Dick asks through gritted teeth.

"I'm not saying you are, but- Sophie is right. You haven't been there for your kids. You lost your wife, but they lost their mom. You of all people should understand what that-" Artemis silences Wally with a dark glare.

"I do understand. I understand how they must be feeling, I just… I don't know how to talk to them. It's not like I know the first thing about my younger kids. Hell, I don't even know how to talk to Sophie."

"Dick, do you really think it's been easy for any of us?" Artemis asks," And don't say it's different because of the family dynamics or powers or whatever the hell you want to say it is. We've been gone for almost four years, and you're right it isn't your fault that that happened, but you have to consider how hard that was. They were only a few years older than you were when…" Artemis falters not wanting to compare what happened to them as to the death of his parents. He seems to get the idea though so she moves on," They suddenly weren't a bunch of teenagers forming a team. They had to take care of three babies _and_ protect the city."

"We did almost the same thing." Dick points out.

"Yeah, but we also had normal lives outside of being heroes. Other than Parker, none of them have had a normal life. Matt and Jania, as hard as we tried, learned early on that they had to look out for each other. Because Arty and I were never garunteed to come home." Wally points out," Look, I've been here a few months longer than you all have. You think I showed up and the kids just threw their arms around me, calling me daddy? Jania was furious with me, with what happened. After he got over being super thrilled of finding me, even Matt wouldn't trust me. It took me a good month before they started to talk to me like anything other than a patient. Jania didn't start calling me Dad until a month before we found you all."

"My kids aren't like yours."

"Yeah, because your daughter was an only child for thirteen years, and the triplets are four. I'm pretty sure I know what you were expecting. You wanted her to still be your little girl. The one that asked you question after question, the one that laughed when you chased her, the one who called you to chase away the monsters, the one that never dreamed that you could hurt her." Wally shrugs," I wanted the same thing, and to be honest, I'm happy I didn't get that girl. Our daughters, all of them in your case, are strong. They are different and powerful and brave. Lila was willing to die because she refused to believe that her only choice was to kill her brother. Jania, God love her, has a strong moral sense of right and wrong, but doesn't mind breaking rules if it helps someone she loves. Emerald still asks us if we're ok every morning, even though she hasn't smiled in God knows how long. Sapphire, despite her temper, has hugged her brother and sister every day. Sophie loves her brother and sisters. I've seen her with them. She makes sure that they eat, sleep, bathe, and other things that most older sisters don't do."

Dick looks at a picture on his desk. Sophie is about seven years old in it, wearing a white gi with a red belt. She smiles at the camera, issing teeth, bright green eyes shining and thick black hair in pigtails. Dick can't help but smile a little at the eager look in her eye. Then the smile falls," You know by the time she was eight, she could kick my ass in fights. It wasn't even because of her powers. Sophie fought smart, didn't throw more punches that she had too. I was- am so proud of her."

"But…" Artemis says, noticing the concentrated look on his face.

"When my parents died, I remember telling myself I never wanted kids because I couldn't put my kids through the pain of losing me. Then I joined Bruce, and it just seemed to be the best option. Why bring a child into the world when there's this chance that I could be killed? Then they showed up," Dick smiles again," Four years before they were all born and there they were."

Artemis and Wally know what he's talking. Almost twenty three years ago, Jania had arrived in 2016, at the age of 17. Which was great because she helped get her father back from the speedforce. Then she got poisoned and ran away just as Matt and Sophie had shown up. They understand how odd it had been seeing their children, especially when Matt had been born three years later. But it also gave them hope when the kids went through rough patches, because they knew that they would get through it.

"When I saw her, I thought it was like with Connor. Someone cloned me, or she was punking me, or something. I kept thinking, she can't be mine, she can't. Then that building exploded and we should have died. We would have if she hadn't caught that wall." He pauses," There was this one moment, after she pushed the wall away, that she looked so beaten down. Like the weight of the world was pressing on her shoulders trying to see how much harder they needed to press until she broke, but she pushed back. That's when I knew. I knew she was ."

"She was freaking scary when that happened," Artemis says," My first thought was, holy shit, I don't want to piss her off."

"Gets that from her mother." Dick suddenly gets this very tense look on his face, and blinks rapidly. Artemis places a hand on his shoulder, and speaks firmly.

"I know you miss her. We all do. But you can't let that pain be the only thing that you feel."

"And you can't lock it out." Wally says," That might keep the bad away but it also keeps out the good."

Dick looks at the only other picture on his desk. It was taken a few weeks before the adults were taken. The kids were all in Sophie's room, fast asleep. Sophie had been studying for something and the triplets liked climbing on their big sister. Emerald cuddles close to Sophie's arm. Sapphire (or was it Emerald) curls up of her sister's back, with little Richie sleeps on her book. Kor'i smiles at the sleeping kids, like she was trying to say _they're so sweet and they're ours_.

"I've been a dick, haven't I?" Dick asks.

"Well it's your name so…." Wally accepts the swift and painful punch from his wife.

"You've made bad decisions," She says to Dick with an evil glare at Wally," But you can fix them."

Dick stands up," I need to find my daughter."

He leaves the room and goes to where he's almost certain Sophie will be- The training room. Whenever a grayson needed to think of things, they cleared their head by training. He's sort of right, meaning one of his daughters is in there. Emerald tries to backflip across the squishy mats only to fall flat on her face. Emerald hits her temples in frustration.

"Come on, Emmy." She says sharply to herself. She stands up and runs across the mats before flinging herself forward. She throws herself into a series of back flips. The whole setup is perfect except for the landing. She stumbles back and falls on her butt," DARN IT!"

"Emerald," The little girl spins around, red curls flying everywhere. There is a small moment of pain when he sees her but he pushes it down. Her green eyes fill with tears.

"I'm sorry, Daddy!" She starts to cry. Dick is taken back by her sudden outburst. She cries and cries. Dick moves over and hugs her. She cries into his shoulder," I'm sorry, Daddy. I don't mean to remind you of Mommy. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I'm sorry, Emerald. I'm so sorry." He holds Emerald as she cries into his shoulder. Emerald breathes in his scent. The mint smell reminds her of Sophie. It makes her feel safe.


	3. Chapter 3: It Hurts

**Author's Note: Bonjour, mes amis! I am alive, and back. Sorry about the radio silence but i've been working on some stories for friends and finishing up school. I'm in IB, think AP but worse, so I'm preparing for a bunch of assessments. I've done a little thinking and I'm going to scrap the origin stories ideal. They sounded like a good idea but I like how I'm doing things now. (All complaint should be filed the second tuesday of next week). Instead I'm most likely going to make a story on here under the name scrapbook. These will be little stories or fluff scenes or memories that I really thought were good and wanted to share. Anyway. I have vacation after school and then I've got some projects that I have to do. Oh, Did I tell you all that I'm writing a 4000 word research paper on Harry Potter? Cool right! ok, I'm Rambling now. Do want to make a tiny note that I did get the idea for one of moments in here from two scenes in the comic books. Love y'all. Message me, review, favorite, follow etc. **

**Edit: OK, So these are all being updated at the same time because I have time to kill. This chapter is different because most of it is Sophie's internal struggle. I love it though.**

Sophie's not sure if there are words to describe how she feels right now. Anger doesn't begin to cover it and sadness isn't going to cut it either. Her eyes sweep across her room, taking in account for how little things have changed. Since December, she and her boyfriend of two years have been sleeping together in his room, so she rarely spends any time in here anymore.

But right now she's not sure she can face him right now or anyone for that matter. Sophie doesn't even really remember what Sapphire had done, she'd just needed to let out some anger from the fight that she'd had with her father. It was a scream filled five minutes between the sisters, Sapphire itching for a fight as much as Sophie was. They'd yelled at each other, not really understanding what they're staying anything. They just needed to scream for the sake of screaming.

Sophie's room hasn't changed much since she was little. The walls are the same midnight blue with those stick on stars creating constellations. Her circular bed, which had been her mom's, is covered in the same black cover and her night stand is littered with pens and wires. There's a small picture frame face down on it. She picks it up and stares at the picture. It's the last and only family picture she had with her siblings and parents. Her dad holds her sisters, both six months old, and her mom holds her brother. Sophie stands between them, fourteen years old and a perfect mixture of her parents. Her black hair pulled into tight ponytail, curling slightly, and her green eyes shining brightly. She looks so happy, caught in the moment with her family. Whole and well. Together. Her eyes burn as she slams the picture down on her desk. The desk has a few papers tossed on them and a few of her books fall from the book shelf above it. She yelps in pain as a large book falls on her hand.

"SHIT!" She doesn't bother keeping her voice down. Since she was young, many of the rooms don't allow noise to escape them, but noise can enter. Great if someone is trying to sneak up on you, better if you and someone else are having alone time. Sophie pulls her hand up, disrupting the book further. She glares down at the book's title. It takes a minute for the word to process through her mind. Memories. Bile rises in her throat as she lifts the heavy book, filled with pictures and memories of her mother, and throws it as hard as she can against the wall. It busts through just to the side of her bed.

Sophie screams in frustration, in rage, in fear. She screams at all the unfair things in her life. She screams at the loss of her mother and the isolating distance from her father. She screams at the heat of everyone's pointed stare, waiting for a moment like this, waiting for the moment that everything snapped, to occur. She screams and it feels good. As she screams, a familiar feeling washes over her, wrapping her in a memory, or rather the ghost of one.

Sophie is a little older than eight, laying in her bed, listening closely for the sound of footsteps. She doesn't have to wait long. Through her door she can hear her mom and dad both speaking quietly.

"Should we check on her?" Her mother's soothing bright voice asks in a hushed tone. Sophie sits up.

"She's probably asleep by now." Her father says in a similar tone. Sophie's heart pounds against her tiny rib cage.

"Dick, you know as well as I that she doesn't settle down until after we're both home," The door opens, light pouring into her room. Her father's shadow moves towards her.

"Hello, princess. Shouldn't you be asleep?" He asks teasingly, kneeling beside her bed.

"Are you ok, Daddy? Is Mommy Ok?" She sees her mother looking in, and desperately wishes that she would hug Sophie.

"Mommy and I are ok," Her father touches her cheek," You on the other hand seem to be a bit sweaty. Are you feeling ok?"

"I just don't want you to die!" Sophie flings her arms around her father and tries hard to hold back her tears.

"Die?" Her father asks," Why would you think we'd die?"

"Mommy's mommy and daddy are with X'hal," That's the name her mother always exclaimed rather than God," Your first mommy and daddy are in heaven with Grandpa Bruce's mommy and daddy. Uncle Gar and Uncle Victor's mommies are both in heaven-"

Her father chuckles, not unkindly, but in a defeated way," I see what you mean."

Her mother sits next to her, stroking her dark hair," Bumgorf, you know what we do, correct?"

"You help and protect people." Sophie says. Her mother smiles.

"Yes, but what happened to Mommy's parents and Daddy's parents, they were not related to what we do now."

"But you could still get hurt!" Sophie exclaims.

"Hey," Dick hold his daughter's cheeks," I don't think we can promise you that we won't get hurt, but I think we can promise you that we will love you as much as we can everyday until we die."

"That's not fair," Sophie's voice breaks," Why can't you do that and not get hurt?!"  
"Because, bumgorf, we are heroes. We have to make the hard decisions that no one else wants to. It's a part of growing up and being kind to others." Her mother explains.

"That's a dumb part then," Her parents laugh.

"I guess it is." Her father smooths back some of her hair, before speaking her first name in a very serious tone," Mar'i, you know that one day Mommy and Daddy won't be here, right?" She nods," Well, I promise you this. Mommy and I will live long enough to give our blessing to the love of your life."

"Daddy, that's gross!" A smile appears on the little girl's face," You promise?"

"I promise," Dick looks at Kor'i," Does Mommy promise?"

"Of course I do," She kisses her daughter," Now, it's time for bed."

Sophie crawls under the covers, her mother tucking her in. Both her parents kiss her goodnight, her father tickling her neck to make her laugh. They look at their young daughter at the door. Her mother murmurs something to her father. Something about doing right by her. Sophie falls asleep with a smile on her face.

The ghost fades from her mind, and she's eighteen again. She's a big sister again. She's alone again. Well not alone. There's a soft knock on her door. Sophie's breath stops, her throat burning. How long had she been in that ghost? How long had she been screaming? A second, a minute, an hour? More? A soft voice enters the room," Sophie?"

"Aunt Raven," The words come out barely above a cracked whisper. She unlocks her door, allowing her aunt in. The purple haired woman looks at her and at the hole in the wall above her bed. Sophie's lived with her aunt for most of her life, but she's the only person aside from her dad that she can't read. Years of emotional repression that a member of the Bat Family could only dream about. Sophie sees her aunt's violet eyes soften and that's when she moves back," please don't."

"Don't what?" Raven asks.

"Don't give me that look of pity that everyone seems so damn fond of lately." It hurts to speak loudly, luckily her words hold their own without volume.

"Sweetheart, there is a very big difference between pity and worry. We're worried about you, but none of us pity you."

"I don't need you to worry about me," She crosses her arms stubbornly, pushing everything that hurts down.

"You might not need it or want it, but you have it." Raven holds her hands up in defense," Let me explain. Losing someone isn't uncommon. But this was you mom. I know you know that, but I don't think you know how to express what you're feeling."

"Bull. I know how, and this is how I do it."

"Pushing the pain down doesn't make it go away. It doesn't stop the hurt. It makes it worst," Sophie doesn't answer, most of her effort going into trying not to cry. Her aunt maybe hard to read, but she's never had a problem understanding what others are thinking.

"Can you make it go away? A spell or charm or potion? Something, Anything."

"I could, but I'm not going to."

"Please, Aunt Rae. I can't stand this anymore," Sophie feels her walls slowly crumbling, no doubt the work of her aunt's magic," I don't like feeling like this. I don't like feeling so…"

"Vulnerable?" Her aunt suggests. That's it. That's the word she'd been looking for. Sophie nods, blinking tears out of her eyes. Raven places a hand on Sophie's shoulder," Mar'i, you don't have to pretend to be stronger than you are. Not with us. We're your family and we love you."

Sophie tries one more time to push the pain down, but fails. She can't breathe, her chest tightening uncomfortably. When she manages to exhale, it comes out in a sob. She slumps down to the ground, holding her midsection, sobbing. Raven rubs her back in small circles. It hurts, the pain and loss and fear and loneliness, it hurts as it all comes up. If she could she would scream, but instead she sobs quietly.

"I know, sweetheart, I know," Her aunt comforts as she lets her niece cry.

"It's not fair!" Sophie exclaims in a harsh whisper," Mom is suppose to be here! She's suppose to see the triplets grow up, see me get married, fight crime, be a mother and a grandmother, help the girls through their heartaches and get Richie to talk. He never talks to us, and Mom got him to tell her everything. He seemed so happy with her, and she's gone."

Those words burn more than the tears. Sophie covers her face," She's gone, she's gone, she's gone."

"Yes, She is, but you're here." Raven makes Sophie look at her," You and your brother and your sisters and your father. You all are still here. You're still blood and you still love each other. Your mother was better at getting you kids to show your emotions, but from what your friends tell me, you became very much like your mother."

"They said that?" Sophie wipes her eyes.

"Yes, they did. They said you were kind and helpful and pushed your own feelings back in order to help someone else. That is very much your mother," Raven smiles," When we were captured, the one thing that kept your mother alive as long as she was, was you. The fact she knew you would take care of your siblings. Every day, she would tell us, don't worry, the kids are fine, they have each other. And everyday someone asked how she kept her hope. She looked at them and said 'because my Nightstar isn't here.'"

"Do you think that seeing us being capture is what killed her?" Sophie asks.

"No," Raven smooths her hair," I think the fact she didn't have the medication that was keeping her alive is what got her in the end."

Sophie smiles at her aunt's bright realism," I miss her."

"We all do," Raven takes note of the dark bags underneath Sophie's green eyes," When did you last sleep?"

"Without waking up an hour later after a nightmare and training the rest of the night?" Sophie looks at the ceiling calculating in her mind," before the giant meeting."

That was nearly two months ago. Raven helps Sophie up and into bed. The 18 year old looks at her aunt," Can you enchant me so I don't have nightmares?"

Raven places a few fingers on Sophie's forehead, silently invoking a charm. She leaves the room as Sophie's heavy eyelids start to shut. Then a panicked thought makes her wrestle to open them. She stands up, wobbling as she crosses the room to her bookshelf. Just on top sits a five legged teddy bear, her attempt at an arts and crafts project with her parents when she was little. The bear fits comfortably in the palm of her hand. The mismatched fabrics clash horrible, but Sophie doesn't care as she stumbles drunkenly back to her bed. As her head hits her pillow, another ghost passes by.

"Mommy, why does the bear have an extra arm?"

"Because They need two legs to stand on, one to keep others from hurting you and two to hug you like this," Sophie falls asleep to the sounds of her and her mother laughing.


	4. Chapter 4: We Can Get Through This

**Author's note: Hey, guys! So I got finished with my finals (I hate Biology just fyi) and decided to finish up this fic. I have something in the works featuring our lovely Emerald Grayson, because I have neglected the poor darling for far too long. It should be epic. Afterwards, who knows, as I said in the last chapter, very busy summer. Anyhoo, message me, review, favorite, follow, etc. On with the story! ALLONS-Y!**

**EDIT: Gotta love binge edits. I have decided to add one more chapter to this story. I have what happened a few weeks after Starfire died, but I have nothing at the time she died. Guess what the next chapter will be about *Evil giggle***

Sophie's body is moving before she's even aware that she's awake, her hands searching for her boyfriend's constantly warm body. Finding only empty sheets, she opens her achy sleepy eyes. The sky outside her window is dark blue with tendrails of pink on the horizon. God, she's spent to much time with Matt and Jania, the writer and artist of the team. Sophie sits up, the five legged teddy bear she'd grabbed the night before sliding off the bed. Someone must have come in last night and changed her out of her street clothes into a baggy T-shirt and sleep shorts. The air in her room is significantly cooler than the covers, making getting out of bed that much harder. She finds a note on her desk written in small neat letters. It takes her dyslexia a few minutes to deciper the note even though it's only a short paragraph.

_Hey Soph,_

_Came to check on you and saw you were asleep. I changed your clothes, with magic of course, and wanted to let you know so you didn't think someone took your clothes off while you were sleeping. Also are you ok? You seemed upset today and Mom isn't saying anything. Tomorrow will be better. I promise._

_Love Lila._

Sophie feels her heartbreak a little as she reads the Logan, her cousin, has been to hell and back. Literally at one point. She has been at the center of a prophecy and should be dead, but instead she's here. Helping Sophie. Sophie doesn't deserve to have Lila as her friend. _I don't deserve any of them_ She thinks as she walks through the halls to the roof. The quiet of the tower seems like a different dimension compared to the normal chaos and noise of it's occupants. Her feet make almost no noise as she walks up the stairs and opens the door to the roof. She crosses to the railing (something that had been installed a few months after she was born) and leans against it, waiting for the sun to rise.

A memory pops up, not as a ghost, just as a thought. When she was younger, she had problems sleeping through the night. Her dad would wake up early and come to check on her. She would almost always be up. He'd smile and pick her up. They'd go up to the roof, and he would hold her up so she could watch the sun rise with him. He would tell her," Today is a new day with new possibilties, Nightstar, Today is the day where anything and everything is possible."

"I'm surprise you remember that." Sophie turns and sees her father standing behind her. Sophie feels an embarrased blush rise in her cheeks. She sometimes spoke her memories aloud without realizing it. Her father moves to lean on the rail next to her, looking out to the horizon," I think the last time we watched the sunrise together was a few years before the triplets were born."

"We stopped when I was 9," Sophie says, a tad ashamed. Watching the sun rise with her dad had been the only time neither had ever felt like they had to be stronger than they were. Some of the pressure that had been there the day before vanished and it was easier to breathe. Now there is this loaded gun between them, neither wanting to reach for it out of fear of where it could lead.

"Soph, I'm sorry." Dick says, turning to face her, scared that he might mess up what he needs to say," I'm sorry for everything that's happened the last few weeks and the last few years."

"It's fine, Dad," She rests her head on her arms.

"No, it's not. Sophie, I know I haven't always been there for you. I know that growing up with me was probably not easy and that it was frustrating because you wanted to know more about me. I'm sorry that you had to grow up so quickly and I'm sorry that I didn't see how much your mother's passing had hurt you." Sophie is quiet for a second, her face tight with pain as he mentions her mother.

"It's not just you, Dad." She looks at him," It's just a number of things that have built up over years and years."

"Yeah, you and I are bad at talking about what bothers us."

"Yes, yes we are. It's part of the Grayson charm." Dick manages a small smile. "I had a ghost last night, about the time when I told you and-and Mom how I didn't want you to die."

"I remember that. You said because all your biological grandparents were dead, you were scared that we would end up the same way."

"Yeah, after you all were taken, I remember thinking to myself, _I knew it, I knew this would happen_." Sophie blinks back tears," I- the only thing that kept me going, as stupid and childish as it sounds, was that promise. You and Mom promising to live long enough to give the love of my life the ok, it kept me going."

Dick looks at his daughter for a moment, trying to understand what she's been through and knowing he couldn't. Just because they're family, doesn't mean that he understands what she's been through the last three years. Instead he looks up at the sky, where few stars remain," When your mother told me she was pregnant with you, I remember being terrified. I think I lost conciousness for a minute. I remember losing my parents, and how much that hurt, and how I put myself in the line of fire everyday. I didn't know if I could be the father that I wanted to be, if I could protect you from all the hurt in the world."

Sophie bites her lip, blinking back tears. Dick turns his head and tucks a dark strand of hair behind her ear," And then, I held you for the first time. You were this tiny little thing, practically skin and bones, and my god what a set of lungs you had. Your mom put on this silver chain with a clum of metal on the end and we watched it turn into a star."

"Yeah. My necklace," Sophie touches the small star that constantly hangs from her neck, her brother and sisters having similar ones they wore," Mom said that it means I would burn out quicker, but keep going."

"She said that much to me, too. Just after she put it on, she told me, then smiled at me and said 'She'll strong like us.'" Sophie smiles, trying to imagine her mother saying that," Then your mother holds you out to me. Keep in mind this was three years after the whole 'Jania-coming-back-in-time-saving-wally-and-you-and-Matt-coming-back-to-save-Jania' fiasco, so I knew what you would look like when you were older. I knew how you would stand like you were about to do a front flip, walk so softly that evenI can't hear you, how you would sometimes stumble over a word but quickly recover. I knew that you would be able to hold yourself up high and not let anything hurt anyone you love. But I looked at the tiny baby you, so small and squishy faced and innocent, not able to do anything but exisit. I looked at you, and I thought 'How the hell am I going to raise this tiny thing into the strong independent young woman I meet?'"

"Tell me how," Sophie feels a bit of the tension release from her chest as she listens to her father.

"I don't know to be honest." He says with a small, genuine smile," it seems like you took all the bad in your life, all the pain and anger, and made it work for you. By the time you were five, after the joker thing, you looked me in the face and said 'Daddy, one day Joker won't hurt anyone we love ever again.'"

"That was after I found out about Uncle Jason right?"

"Yeah it was." They sit there for a second, at that point yet again. Neither sure what to say and knowing that if they leave it here nothing will change or get better.

"Dad, you know you can't fix this with just an 'I'm sorry' and a story right?"

"I know. I also know that I have no idea how to fix this, what to say, or what to do from here on out. I do know that I want fix this and I will try my hardest to be there more for you and the triplets."

"Ok. And I will try to give you a break because you have gone through a lot and you lost Mom too," Sophie looks her father in the face and smiles lightly at him," Look at us, handling our problems like adults. Mom would be proud."

She says it lightly, like it could be a joke, but neither of them take it that way. They both watch the last of the stars disappear from the sky as the sun rises over head. The start of a new day and new posibilites

**Author's note: YAY! Happiness, kinda sorta. Hope you like the fic! Check some of my other stories out and let me know if you want to see anything. Any scenario, any character from the DC universe (Though you wouldn't have to try very hard to convince me of anyone from the Marvel universe either), any line that you would like to see in a story. Let me know and I will work my magic.**

**EDIT: D'awwww! I forgot how sweet they are when they aren't screaming at each other. Review, favorite, follow, etc.**


	5. Chapter 5: What We Fight For

**Author's Note: HELLO MY LOVES! I am here and alive and working on shit for my senior year. I am so so so so times a bazillion sorry for being on this random hiatius. Like I said, I'm in my senior year and I have had a shit ton of papers and stuff to do. I actually wrote this on my way to visit family. I wanted to show something like my I Got You fic (which I might update here soon) for Dick and Kor'i. They have literally had less than 500 words worth of interaction and they have four kids. They need some love.**

**Edit: So I did have Dick and Kor'i interacting during What Happened That Night, But here I added kind of the reason why they interact the way they do. Also I have this headcannon for almost all my couples that behind their tought exterior they do need reassurance that everything will be ok.**

The blinding lights in his eyes no longer bother him. His scrawny body shown off in his skin tight costume. He doesn't care. He's miles above anyone who matters. If the stripped tent wasn't above him, he could touch the stars. His mother touches his face, her auburn hair pulled into a tight ponytail.

"When I see you out there, Richard, you remind me of a little robin." she teases, her voice distant and watery

He looks across the stadium. He can make out the butch figure of his father. Dick can still feel his ribs ache as his parents hug him. His mother mounts the trapeze with grace he hopes he can achieve one day. The roar of the crowd as she swings to meet his father. His heart racing with excitement. Nine years old and he knows where he belongs. He belongs here with his parents. Flying through the air like a bird.

_**SNAP!**_

His heart stops as his parents reach out for the other, his mother screaming his name. He falls to his knees and screams for someone to catch them. There's no net. There's never been a need for a net. He hears the thud. The thud. The thud. A disembodied voice whispering," His parents were all he had."

Another saying," I know what he lost. What he's feeling. The pain that leaves."

Dick Grayson bolts up in bed. His wife rolls over in her sleep. He keeps hearing the thud, his parents hitting the ground. _No_ he tells himself _That wasn't my fault. I've grown past it. _He tells himself this over and over, like a child's pray. But tonight the panic won't leave him. He slides out of bed, careful not to disturb Kor'i. She's earned a peaceful night's sleep. He leaves their room and stops in the hall.

Years of sleepless nights tell him to go to the training room. Train himself into exshaution. Or go to his office, work on files, on cases that they still needed to solve, on reports that needed to be sent. His mind demands to be distracted. Supress the pain like he has for so many years. He finds his feet moving down the hall. Upstairs and down another hall. A room just above his and Kor'i's.

He presses his hand to the keypad and the door slides open. Dark blue walls are covered with murals of galaxies and planets. Glow in the dark stars cover the ceiling. A pile of books lay beside a rocking chair. Dick goes to the middle of the room. Inside her crib, his tiny daughter begins to fuss. She opens her stunning green eyes, exactly like her mother's, and begins to cry.

"Hey, Nightstar." He reaches down, picking her up gently. She fusses more as he rocks her gently," It's ok. I got you."

He changes her diaper, the one month old squirming around impatiently. His heart aches as he looks at her. She doesn't know. She doesn't know how much pain he holds onto. She doesn't know about what happened to his parents. How much he fears her getting hurt. Or worse, the same thing happening to her. The pain that would stay with her if he and Kor'i left her alone in the world. He makes her a bottle of powdered formula nearby, not wanting to wake the whole tower walking to the living room. He settles in the rocking chair. His daughter sucks on the bottle like it's her last meal. He looks at her tiny features, her mouth curving into a tiny pink O as she yawns. He hears his parents bodies hitting the ground, feels the world around him collapse. A tear rolls down his cheek and drops into his Nightstar's dark hair.

"Dick?" He turns, surprised he didn't hear the door open. Kor'i gives him a confused look," Are you all right?"

"Yeah," He lies. Dick carefully stands, adjusting the baby in his arms," I thought I heard Mar'i crying. I thought you'd want to sleep."

Kor'i crosses the room to her husband, taking Mar'i into her arms. She holds the baby against her shoulder. The sight of his wife holding their daughter, her fiery red hair loose down her back, in one of his old t-shirts, makes him want to cry. Or at the very least pull them close so that no one could hurt them. Kor'i gives Dick a hard look," I know this not to be true. You have enjoyed the not getting up as much as I."

"It was a nightmare. That's all," He doesn't want her to push it.

"A nightmare?" She questions.

"It's nothing," he pushes," I've had it plenty of times. It's just. It's just the first time I've had it since Mar'i-"

"Since Mar'i what?" Kor'i places their daughter into her crib, the baby now sleeping once again. She faces him face erriely neutral. Dick hates when she gets like this. Knowing she won't let it go, he pulls her into the hall and tells her about the dream. He can't bring himself to look her in the eyes. As he finishes, he feels her hand under his chin, making him look into her eyes," Richard, It is ok for you to feel this way."

"No, Kor'i, it isn't." He shakes his head," We aren't in the same situation as my parents-"

"Darling, your parents were circus people. You are a hero as am I. We are far more likely to die in our line of work than them."

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better." Kor'i makes him look at her.

"What is really the matter?" She asks.

"I'm scared," He's just as surprised to say it as she is to hear it," I'm so scared, babe. I remember how much it hurt when my parents died. Ever since I found out we were having Mar'i, I-I just can't imagine putting her through that."

"Mar'i is not going to lose us. We have had plenty of motive to fight in the past, but now we have her. We have her to fight for. We have each other. Our friends." He takes her face in his hands, resting his forehead on hers," We both have lost our parents, but we will fight for our daughter. We fight for our family. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," He kisses her forehead, pulling her into a hug. Kor'i nestles into his shoulder like she's done a thousand times. She can hear his heart pounding in his chest. Kor'i found that his slower heart rate calmed her own rapid heart. He presses his cheek into her messy red hair. He smiles to himself, knowing one day they will have two daughters with the same fiery locks. Both can feel thebroken pieces inside them piece themselves together, or begin to at least. He might have lost his parents, but because of that he gained his wife and daughter. Kor'i nearly died for her daughter to enter this world, but she knows if it came down to it, she would do it again without hesitation. Because Mar'i, their darling, precious daughter, had helped them both find a new reason to protect the world.

They stand there for a while, making silent promises to themselves and each other to be there no matter what.

**Author's note****:** **God, I love this ship. Ok, so I have lots going on after the first of the year. I will try to get one more chapter of 'I got you" up before school starts back up. Please please please please review and message me with any ideas. I will totally credit you!**


	6. Chapter 6: The Last Night

**Author's Note: So my work schedule has been crazy as fuck this week. Plus my car is dead so I have nowhere to go. I not so subtly hinted at a new chapter about the day that Kor'i/Starfire died. I've talked about what happened years before and what happened a few weeks after, but I want to show you all what happened that night *pats self on back for shameless plug* The first part is pretty slow, but it should let you see the families interact. **

It's strange to have their parents back, but it's also comforting. Matt and Jania sit near their parents. Matt and Wally are in the kitchen munching on carrots. Jania rolls her eyes at some lame joke her dad makes, her mother braiding her hair, just like when she was a kid. There was something soothing that Jania finds as Artemis pulls her hair tightly together. Then she unravels the complicated braids, beginning again. Parker sits at the table with Victor, showing his adopted father some of his most recent blueprints. Victor smiles at his son's joy as he explains the advance robotics like it's simple algebra. Raven and Garfield are in the hospital wing with the twins, who are both expected to make it through.

There is only one word to describe the Grayson children right now. Radiant. Everything about them seems to be beaming- their eyes, their smiles, even their hair. After three and a half years, their parents are home. For a family that's pretty notorious for orphaning kids at a young age, this alone is a massive victory. Sapphire and Emerald hang off their father, each trying to talk over the other. Richie smiles, even laughs, in his mother's lap as they listen to his sisters. Sophie moves around the kitchenette, grinning ear to ear as she cooks.

"Ok," Jania cut through the gems babble with a wave of her hand," I love you four, but the smiles are freaking me out."

"Jania," Her mother pulls on her long braid," Not everyone has a heart of stone."

"I blame genetics on that part."

"Your father has his good qualities-"

"HEY!" Wally protests from the kitchen area, a carrot dangling from his mouth," I resent that comment."

"Dad, keep in mind, Mom did marry you," Matt points out. Artemis glares at her son, making the young man visibly shudder.

"Mommy," Emerald releases her hold on her father and scooches over to her mother.

"Yes, bumgorf," Kor'i tucks a loose red curl behind her youngest daughter's ear.

"Why does Sophie have a Tameranian name, but we don't?"

"Yeah," Sophie uses a knife to motion to her younger siblings," They've asked me about ten million times, but I've never had an answer. Even after we were sent back in time, I wasn't sure if you chose the names because I told you what they were or if Dad ever told you."

"Your father did tell me eventually," Kor'i shares a look with her husband, though he seems more apologetic,"But I did keep my options open. I liked the name Mar'i for you, Nightstar, because you are our first baby. You would guide the way for your siblings, because I wanted many children. Sophie means wise on Earth, and being your father's daughter, I knew you would be clever. You were the first to combine two fierce races therefore your names should reflect that."

"As for you three, for the life of me, I actually couldn't remember your names. These three," Dick nods at Sophie, Jania, and Matt," Never actually talked about you; only used your nicknames when talking to you. I remember one little girl with blue eyes and a fiery temper."

Sapphire smiles proudly in her father's arms,"Me!"

Dick laughs," That's right. We were looking around for names and we thought 'our first daughter was named for the stars in the sky, but our next daughters should be named for the stars in the earth.' Sapphires, we found, are gems of are said to heal the mind, bringing focus, binging strength, and help to see past surface lies. Estella, your middle name, is a french word for star. So the reverse of your big sister."

"Like how Sophie has your hair color and Mommy's eyes, and I have Mommy's hair color and your eyes."

"That's right," Her mother laughs," Now, Emerald, on the other hand, your father remembered a little girl who looked like me. We wanted you to share something with your sisters, but we wanted you to have something that set you apart. When we decided on Sapphire Estella, we looked at some other gems. Emeralds are also a gem of wisdom, but they enhance memory and clarity. They also give hope for the future, reveal the truth in others, but they also represent renewal."

"Babe, don't forget that they inspire meaning, compassion, harmony and justice."

"So you wanted me to be a hero from birth?" Everyone laughs.

"We knew you would want to do what's right." Kor'i tells her," To be honest, I don't think we actually knew your middle name until after you were born."

"Luna," Emerald holds up her necklace. Kor'i and Dick had been given a few necklaces for their wedding. The necklaces, a gift from Raven and Garfield, combined Earth metals with Tameranian Lore. Before they were given to their children, the necklaces were clumps of metal on a chain. Once they were placed around the children's necks, the metal would read their soul and determine what best described them. Sophie's is a star, Sapphire's a sun, Emerald's a full moon, and Richie's a crescent moon.

"Yes," Kor'i folds her daughter's tiny fingers around the moon," Emerald Luna, you give everyone hope for the future and allow them to reflect on themselves. You, my moon, are a reflection of everything good and you bring so much with you."

"You forgot me," Richie looks up at his mother.

"How could anyone forget you?" Sophie calls out to her baby brother.

"Well, he doesn't talk all that much, so it isn't as hard as most people would think." Sapphire points out.

"Sapphy, be kind," Matt tells her.

"Jania's not nice to you." Emerald points out.

"She's got a point," Jania tells him.

"You, my beautiful boy, are named after one of the bravest men I know." Kor'i kisses her son's head.

"Kor'i, I didn't know you secretly named him after me." Victor acts touched.

"Do you just listen to the parts of conversations that you can make a smartass comment on?" Dick asks.

"Dude, we've been friends for over twenty years. You should know the answer to that question by now," Victor tells him. Dick rolls his eyes.

"Richie, you were named, obviously, after me. Your middle name we went back and forth on. Richard John or Richard Bruce. Both were names of your grandfathers, but," Dick leans over and takes his son. Wally grins. Dick looks at Richie with the same pride that he looks at Matt with," Bruce gave me a second chance. A chance that lead me to today. If Grandpa Bruce hadn't taken me in, I never would have met any of my friends, have my brothers, or fall in love with your mommy."

"And if you had not fallen in love with Mommy, you would not have us," Richie speaks like his mother. Like he has to translate everything in his head before he says it. Dick grins.

"That's exactly right."

"You know, Dad, didn't you tell me something similar like most of my childhood?"Sophie raises an eyebrow.

"It's a parent thing," Artemis tells her," We told Matty and Jani that the world was an awful place most of their childhood."

"But," Jania interrupts," you and Dad also told us that we have people in our corner, and that we can do a lot of good if we work hard."

"Yeah, and we didn't turn out to fucked up," Matt and Jania give their parents identical smartass grins.

"That's how we know they're related," Sophie laughs," That amount of smartassery had to be genetic."

"They get it from Wally," Artemis says.

"So we get our looks from you?" Matt asks innocently, but his devilish grin gives him away. The triplets dissolve into giggles. The adults get a decent chuckle out of it.

"Son, I'm wounded," Wally places hand on his heart, acting hurt. Matt laughs. Kor'i and Dick notice Sophie smile at Matt as he laughs. Like it's her favorite sound in the world.

"If you three can tear yourself away from Mom and Dad, I have Zorkaberries that need mashing." The triplets bounce off the couch. Emerald flies over to the kitchen. Sapphire backflips off the couch, landing gracefully and flipping onto her hands. She walks forward on her hands easily. Richie, somehow, manages to make it over before either of the gems. The adults are shocked but the older teens don't even blink," You all are such showoffs."

"Grayson, what are you- oh fuck are you making one of those weird ass alien dishes?" Jania asks.

"You and Matt have eaten bugs before," Sophie points out.

"We're part Vietnamese!" Jania protests.

"I'm half Tameranian!" Sophie tells her," And brunshan is fucking delicious."

"You learned how to make brunshan?" Kor'i asks, moving closer to Dick.

"Mom, I watched you make this dish since I was 2. I have it ingrained in my head."

"X'hal knows you ate enough of it to know what it should taste like." Her mother laughs.

"Hey, I passed the addiction on to these three," She nods at the triplets, who look up with Zorkaberries dripping down their chins.

"I'm so proud." The Grayson children laugh at their father's bluntness. The others in the room can't help but smile. The Grayson's are notorious for their stoic nature, so to hear them laugh and see them smile as much as they are is a welcome change.

"Once you three are finished with that, guess what time it is?"Sophie gives her brother and sisters a charming grin. The three immediately jump into protests.

"No!" Sapphire shouts.

"Can we skip it today? Please?" Emerald asks. Richie gives her a sad pleading look.

"You all know the rule. No nap, early bed." Matt reminds them.

"But Mommy and Daddy are back!" Sapphire says, pouting. Dick exchanges a look with Kor'i. After being a team for nearly twenty five years, the two could have an entire conversation without talking.

"You know," He fakes a yawn," I'm actually kind of tired. How about I lay down with you guys?"

The triplets look to their sister with wide pleading eyes. She nods, giving her consent. They all but drag their father out of the room. Sophie laughs as she pulls the mashed zorkaberries towards her. Kor'i walks over to the kitchen," I do not think that your father has napped since you were in diapers."

"Well, they are awfully cute. I'm not surprised he didn't last long," Sophie pours the mashed berries into a pot of boiling sludge. Kor'i looks over her daughter's shoulder.

"_Considering how much you hated cooking when you were young, I am surprised you learned to make the brunshan._" Kor'i slips into Tameranian to see if her daughter picks up on the the change. Sophie doesn't even blink as she responses back.

"_It was easy, plus I read your recipe like ten times a day when you were gone. Your writing made it feel like you were here telling me how to make it. Plus I wanted Emmy, Sapphy, and Richie to know more about Tameranian culture._" Sophie shrugs. Her mother smiles.

"_You've been practicing your Tameranian_." Kor'i notes.

"_Again, the triplets. Plus it's fun if I say it really fast and angry while looking at one of my friends_," Sophie looks over at Jania, waiting until the archer looks over before glaring. She changes her tone so it's angrier," _Jania is the most fun. She can read and write Tameranian, but can't speak it."_

"_I did something similar with your Aunt M'gann. I terrified your poor father so much that he legitimately thought he had done something wrong._" Kor'i grins, changing her tone to match Sophie's," _You have become quite a leader since I last saw you._"

Sophie shrugs, looking back at her dish," _I wasn't trying to be a leader. To be honest, Mom, I don't want to be a leader. I don't think I could handle all the responsibility that comes with making life threatening choices. I can't handle looking after everyone else's well being while I'm not ok. But I couldn't let my friends and siblings starve to death. X'hal knows that I was one of three people in the tower that could actually cook. Even if all my best dishes didn't have meat in them._"

"What are you saying?!" Jania demands. Sophie can't answer her, she's laughing so hard. Kor'i notices Matt smile at Sophie. He looks at her like she's the only person in the room.

"_I see Matthew has his eyes on you._" Her mother notes. Sophie blushes a bit as she pours the brunshan into a glass bowl to cool," _Have you admitted your feelings to him yet?_"

"_Mom!_" Sophie's face burns," _Really? Three and a half years later and you-_"

"_Darling, you have been in love with that boy since the day you meet him._" Her mother laughs.

"_So since I was like a little kid?_" Sophie asks. Her mother isn't shocked that she knows about the memories that should have been erased. She knew that the kids would have to find out eventually, but Sophie doesn't sound angry or sad. She gives her mother an understanding smile.

"Well, you did say you were going to marry him when you were two years old."

"MOTHER!" Sophie gasps in English.

"Are you talking about me?"Matt asks.

"Oh, shit, are they finally together?" Victor asks Parker. Parker laughs as he nods.

"Took years, but yes." Parker tells him.

"Looks like our secret is out, Star," Matt laughs.

"Well you have like an hour and a half before my dad gets back. Then I'll be single again." Sophie tells him. There's a loud whoosh and Sophie is suddenly on the other side of the room. Matt holds her in his arms bridal style. She yelps in surprise," Matthew West, put me down!"

"Hey I only have an hour and a half left to live according to you." Sophie rolls her eyes. She floats into the air, flying back to her mother.

"Are they always like that?" Artemis asks Jania.

"Surprisingly there's usually more PDA. But she's usually trying to get away from him. Or vice versa. I've got plenty of footage of them being caught making out before. I'm keeping it for their wedding, which apparently has been coming since they were little kids." Jania gives her brother an evil grin. He flips her off.

"I actually remember the day that she's talking about." Artemis says, brushing Jania's long hair," You and Sophie would have been about two years old so Matt was three. You three and the twins were eating lunch- I don't remember what exactly. I do remember we gave you apple slices because we wanted to feel less guilty about the shit you were eating. You all were eating and talking nonsense. Then there was a crash and Sophie was falling out of her chair. Best we figure is Sophie had asked Matt for more apples."

"I remember this," Wally laughs," Matty threw the apples at her so hard, she fell out of her chair. She immediately sat up and said that she and Matty were getting married one day."

"What the fuck?" The teens laugh, even Sophie and Matt.

"You loved stories of Ancient Greece. Apparently in Greece, throwing an apple at someone was a marriage proposal. So you two have been engaged since you were about three years old." Kor'i reaches over, lovingly patting her cheek.

"In my defense," Matt says," I was in the phase of throwing things really hard."

"When did you leave that phase?" Parker teases.

"You know what, Stone, you can shut the hell up," Matt tosses a carrot at his friend. Their parents take a second and watch their children. Parker is more outspoken after three years, his once pale skin now tan and muscles under his shirt flex as he throws the carrot back at Matt. Jania and Sophie talk to each other about a mission, each of them finishing the other's sentences. Sophie holds herself with a softer grace rather than her practiced rigidness. Her hair falls to her shoulder blades in lovely midnight curls. Jania's gold locks, though a sharp contrast to her best friend's, float around her relaxed shoulders. She teases Sophie about something, and her parents hear the warmth and love in her voice. Something that they wouldn't have expected to hear five years ago. Matt flashes to the other side of the room. His once clumsy stride is powerful. His once scrawny body now lean and muscular. He hugs Sophie from behind.

Victor and Kor'i are both shocked that she doesn't judo flip him. Wally and Artemis are shocked at the ease that Matt hugs her. Both kids have never liked being touched. Sophie use to punch people when they tried to touch her without her consent. Matt would run away. But his parents see how he looks at her. Matt kisses her cheek, making her roll her eyes. Jania and Parker groan and pretend to gag.

The strangest thing to their parents, and the saddest, is how normal it seems to be for them. Jania no longer acts as if everyone around her will hurt her. Parker, while Victor knows he's still fighting depression, has found a place with people who love him and who accept him for who he is. Matt looks less like his father and more like his own man, one who holds himself tall and proud for the people he loves. Sophie has let herself be happy. They should all be happy. After all, these four and the twins never had a huge reason to not let people in. To see their children become a family of their own is heartwarming. But it's heart breaking because they weren't there to see them change. They weren't there and that's why their children had to make a family of their own.

"Matthew Isaac West!" Sophie chids him as he steals a bite of brunshan from the bowl," This is why I don't let you in the kitchen when I'm cooking."

"Jani, I don't know why you hate this," He carefully ignores Sophie's glare,"It's delicious."

"She's mad because she can't speak the language so she hates all Tameranian dishes," Parker informs him.

"Bite me, Stone," Jania turns, hugging her mother before standing. She goes over to the kitchen, sitting on one of the counters. Her long legs are wrapped up to the knee from the battle. Kor'i goes back to the couch. Sophie pushes Matt away. The four friends talk to each. Jania and Matt move around the room, each bustling with energy.

"Hey, there's acutally a story I've been dying to tell you all," Matt's face lights up," So Luke and Lila decided to make a potion last year that was supposed to help with disguises. Luke misread some ingredient and we all suffered."

He weaves a story of how the potion turned them all the opposite gender for a week. He explains the horror when they figured it out. The joy that Jania, Sophie, and Lila got when they had to explain to the boys how to put on bras. The concern when they had to swap clothes. He's a great story teller, giving just enough detail on small things to show their importance without boring them. Jania, Parker, and Sophie don't interrupt him, except to laugh or groan. Kor'i watches her daughter's face.

The story unfolds one from Jania about a mission that the girls went on. Parker talks about his sisters, who he was able to get taken away from his parents. Sophie tells a story about the triplets. They begin to talk, filling the room with sadness, longing, joy, anger, and love.

"DONE!" Sapphire crashes back into the room two hours after being sent to bed. Her hair had come down, the long curls matching Emerald's perfectly. Emerald flies directly into her mother's arms. Dick comes in with Richie in his arms. Kor'i laughs because both her husband and son look the same, with their already messy black hair sticking up on one side and both groggy. Richie yawns, resting his head on Dick's shoulder.

"Did you actually fall asleep?" Sophie asks her father as he approaches the couch. He leans down to kiss his oldest daughter's cheek.

"Four kids, Star. Four kids. Plus your sisters are quite the hand full," He sits next to Kor'i, who takes her sleeping son.

"Can't imagine where they got that from," Sophie says sarcastically.

"Star, be kind," Matt chids.

"When has he started calling you Star?" Dick asks.

"They all call me Star," She shrugs," Ever since they found out about Mom being a princess, Jania calls me Princess more often than Star."

"My personal favorite is 'who died and made you queen?'" Jania teases.

"Dad, how did you ever put up with Wally? If Jania is only half as annoying as him-"

"HEY!" Jania and Wally protest, both of them wrinkling their nose the same way.

"Jani has always been her father's daughter,"Artemis laughs," Especially when it comes to her sense of humor."

"Oh, Sophie has always taken after her father as well. But more in her-what do you all call it- her hemate." Kor'i says.

"He-mah-what?" Jania asks.

"My manner, my personality, my charm, my wit," Sophie laughs as her mother reaches over to teasingly pull her hair.

"You developed those last two by yourself. Her manner is the best translation; albeit not a direct one. Ever since she was a child, so serious. She did have a sense of wonder. Anything that was larger than her and moved she was fascinated with. But when she was six, something changed. She was very angry at the world." Sophie shares a look with her mother. Sophie's eyes are exactly like Kor'i's, but worn out," She didn't want to be Mar'i anymore. She wanted to be Sophie."

"I've always wondered that," Wally says," Why go by Sophie when Mar'i is already a great name?"

"Mar'i got hurt too much. She was weak, Sophie's stronger." Sophie tells him.

"Uh, I assume there's a story behind this." Wally looks over at his best friend.

"Some of it's my fault," Dick admits," Jason came to visit us when she was six. He had an episode when she was in the room. We had to tell her about what the Joker did to him. I'll always remember the look on her face. And the promise she made."

"What promise?" Matt asks.

"I swore that Joker would never hurt anyone in our family ever again." Sophie isn't smiling now. She's angrier now. Her eyes are trained on the ceiling," Fucked that one up pretty bad."

"Sopie," Emerald flies over to her sister. Their parents raise a eyebrow at the odd nickname. She gives Sophie a loving smile," We're okay. Joker can't hurt us ever again."

Sophie tucks a fiery curl behind Emerald's ear," Moon, you shouldn't have been hurt at all."

"What do you mean?" Kor'i and Dick look at their oldest daughter with concern. She sighs.

"Last October, Joker ambushed us. The triplets and I were on our way to the park and I remember this piercing noise. There was a van that pulled up next to us. These masked asshats jumped out. I remember fighting even though I couldn't think straight. The kids were screaming, crying," Sophie keeps her eyes trained on Emerald. Sapphire climbs over the couch, sliding into Sophie's arm. Richie, who had woken up because of all the laughing, crawls away from his mother. The triplets hold onto their sister just as they had with their parents," They said I had two hours to find them. Then he starts cutting. I was out of my mind with worry. It took us hours to find them. He hurt them. He cut them like he cut me."

Sophie's voice breaks and tears fill her eyes. Richie reaches up, wiping his big sister's tears. His sleeve falls down. Dick and Kor'i both feel their stomachs twist as they see the scar there. RICHARD written in thin shaky letters. Sapphire's sweater slides off tiny shoulder, the top of a scar just visible. It hits them that Emerald is the only one of the triplets not wearing long sleeves. Sapphire kisses her sister's nose," You protected us."

"I should have been faster, Sunshine. I should have saved you."

"You sent him to hell," Emerald tells her, face tight with determination," You did save us. You hurt him."

Sophie looks around at her brother and sisters, their love for her written on every line on their faces.

"What became of Joker?" Kor'i asks. Sophie gives her mother and father a look so dark that sends a shiver down their spines.

"You heard Emerald. I sent him to hell, with a burned throat. He won't be laughing anytime soon." Sophie kisses each of her siblings before standing up. Emerald and Sapphire hold onto her, which doesn't look like it bothers her at all.

"Well, this is tense," Jania notes,"I guess it would be a bad time to bring up the fact that Matt and Sophie are dating?"

"JANIA!" Matt shouts.

"The tension was way to high, and I owe you for breaking my favorite bow." Jania gives him a smug grin.

"Please I knew that the minute I saw them." Dick scoffs," I love my daughter, but she flirts like her mother."

"You were oblivious to my flirting for years, Richard," Kor'i says bluntly.

"Damn, Dad. Smacked down by Mom," Sophie throws Jania a grateful look.

"Matthew," Dick stares the young speedster down.

"Yes, sir. And if this is a threat about how you'll kill me if I hurt her-"

"Oh, no. She's been trained so well by us here and her Uncle Damian, Uncle Jason, and Uncle Tim that I don't doubt her ability to hurt you. She kick her Uncle Damian's ass by the time she was 11 years old. No, you make sure you treat her right."

"Did she really kick Ra's al Ghul's grandson's ass? At 11 fucking years old?" Jania shakes her head in disbelief.

"Please, Damian was easy to beat. Get him angry enough and he destroys himself. Now Uncle Jason, I beat when I was 16."

Matt snaps his fingers," Wasn't that around the time we first got together? Batman needed us for some weird mission."

This leads to more stories, but this time their parents take part as well. They share stories about the kids themselves when they were young. Wally recalls when they found out Matt had superspeed. Kor'i imitates Dick's reaction when he found out she was pregnant with Sophie and the triplets. They tell stories about themselves, drawing connections between them and their children. Artemis admits that Matt and Jania get their short tempers from her, not surprising most of them. The kids sit back more and listen to their parents. It's probably the best night of their lives.

Hours pass by, stories unfolding new stories. At some point the triplets fall asleep on the couch. Kor'i holds her head as she stands to take them to bed.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Sophie asks.

"I believe so. I just got heavy headed for a moment."

"Light headed," Sophie corrects," You look a little pale. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Babe, you don't look so good." Dick brushes hair from his wife's face," Maybe we should go to the hospital."

Kor'i begins to protest, but finds it's harder to breathe,"Perhaps you are right."

"I've got the kids. You guys go on." Sophie says. Kor'i hugs her daughter. Sophie hugs her mother back just as tightly. Neither ever had to worry about hugging the other too hard. Kor'i pulls back, kissing Sophie on the forehead," I'll be back soon, star."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Kor'i glances at Matt," Make sure she doesn't worry herself too much."

"I can't promise you that." He tells her.

"Then make sure she laughs."

"That I can do."

Kor'i leans over each of the triplets, kissing their cheeks. Richie groans, looking up at her," Mommy?"

"It's ok, my love, go back to sleep."

"Are you ok?"

"Mommy and Daddy just have to leave for a little bit. We will be back." Kor'i smiles to herself as her beautiful boy rolls over and falls back asleep without another word. Her moon and sunshine don't even stir. Kor'i kisses Sophie one last time.

"I love you."

"I love you too, my Nightstar."

/Line Break/

In the morning, the Wests are the first ones up. Raven slips in and listens to the family talk, sipping her herbal tea. Luke had woken up last night. After realizing he almost killed Lila, he begged for his parents to forgive him. They hadn't let him finish before squeezing him was weaker than Raven had anticipated, but he should be fine.

The phone rings.

"Must be Dick. He said that Kor'i had to have some test done. He was going to call after they got the results." Artemis yawns.

"Hello?" Raven answers. Matt and Jania both watch Raven's face. They know what happened seconds before she says it," Kor'i's gone?"

"Oh my god," Artemis covers her mouth. Wally puts his arm around his wife. Matt and Jania don't move.

"No," Raven shakes her head." We can handle the kids. You take care of what needs to happen there." Pause," You too."

Matt and Jania both look heart broken. Artemis reaches over, grabbing both of their hands. To remind them that she's here. She's here for them.

"We have to tell Sophie," Matt whispers.

"It's gonna destroy her. It's gonna destroy the kids." Jania shakes her head.

They hear her before they see her. Sophie walks towards the door, singing her mother's lullaby. Every word is loud and joyful and full of promise and love. She walks into the room, humming. Her dark hair drips down the back of her tanktop. She practically floats over, kissing Matt on the cheek," Morning all."

"Hey," Jania tries to say more but can't.

"I don't remember the last time I slept that well." Flying to the kitchen counter, She pours herself a cup of coffee," Has Dad called?"

"He just did." Raven tells her. Sophie turns to her aunt. Her smile even wider than yesterday's. Raven, being an empath, can feel what her niece feels. So as Sophie reads her aunt's face, she feels the shock. The disbelief. The anger. Most of all she feels Sophie's pain. The smile falls slowly. The cup in her hand slips, shattering on the ground. The sob starts in the back of her throat. She slides to the ground holding her middle. Matt flashes over to her side, catching her just before she falls.

"No," She whispers, shaking her head," No, No, NO!"

"Sophie," Matt has to say it. He knows he does. She does too. Meeting his eyes, she silently pleads for him to not say it. Because then it's she's gone. He holds her close," I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry for your loss."

Sophie falls apart. She pushes Matt away roughly, accidentally breaking one of his ribs. She sobs into her hands," No, she can't be gone. She was here. She was right here."

"I'm sorry," Matt holds his side in pain.

"She can't be gone. She can't be." Sophie curls up into a tight ball," She was here, she was right here. She said she'd be back. She promised. SHE PROMISED!"

Sophie slams her fists against the ground. The tile cracks under her hands. She looks down in horror. Jania and Matt exchange a look. They know they have maybe thirty seconds before she shuts down completely. Matt moves to comfort her, to make her feel what she needs to. Jania, however, beats him to the punch.

"Hey, Soph, why don't you go for a walk? You look like you want to be alone." Jania speaks softly," You go on. Take some time for yourself."

Sophie doesn't speak. She practically runs out of the room, barely holding her tears in. Matt waits until he's sure she's gone before turning on his sister.

"What the hell, Jania?!" he growls.

"She needs-"

"She's going to shut down! She won't let herself feel anything!" Matt shouts. He isn't angry. He's worried.

"Matt, I know you care about her, but right now she needs to not feel anything."

"I don't care about her, I'm in love her. I don't want her to shut down."

"I know," Jania's voice breaks," I know. I know. I know. But we have to tell the kids. We have to tell them that their mother isn't coming home. Sophie won't be able to function if she has to watch her baby brother and sisters hurt. You saw how she was when Joker took them."

Matt closes his eyes. Wally and Artemis both look at their children. Noting the lines on their young faces, the tense muscles. They look like they've aged ten years rather than four. It's suddenly very evident that Matt and Jania are the leaders of the team. Only leaders can be as concerned with the welfare of everyone on their team as they are. Jania looks at her watch.

"They're gonna be here any minute." Artemis can't take it. She moves away from Wally, pulling both her kids to her. Matt's way taller than her and Jania more aggressive. Both kids hug her back, taking a moment to relish in her warmth. The fact that she's alive.

"I love you two," She murmurs.

"We love you too." They pull away, each kissing her cheek. No matter how old they get, she will always see the little boy and girl who slept in their parents' bed when they were on a mission. They steel themselves as the triplets come into the room, rubbing their sleepy eyes with the back of their arms.

Richie asks first," Where is Mommy and Daddy?"

The Grayson children, just yesterday, were radiant. The tower had been filled with laughter and love. Now screams and sobs fill the halls. Their family had been whole, and for the first time, so were they. Now, they were broken. Shattered on the ground. Two words echo from each of the kids as they scream.

"SHE PROMISED!"

**Author's note: Sadness. I wanted to show y'all the cuteness that was the Grayson family, before I killed her. Love Y'all! (please don't send me any death threats)**


	7. Chapter 7: The Funeral

**Author's Note: Hey, guys. So I really thought about it and I decided I was going to keep adding to this story. It's probably going to be this chapter and one more, and that will be it, but I have a habit of saying that. I really wanted to show Sophie's team's attempts to help her after her mom died. That being said, they will be taking care of the triplets a little more since well, they did help raise them. Anyway. Leverage Chapter 2 will happen, just lost my motivation for writing it. Still Family has one more chapter. My request fic is up so please take a look at that. I don't have anything really personal to share with y'all. I hope you all are having great holidays. And I hope 2017 brings some love and happiness to your lives.**

**Ok done with the mushy gushy. Now onto the angst. :)**

Sophie wishes she could wear black. That's what she feels right now. Where her heart has been is just this big dark hole. But Mom hated black at funerals. So much so she made Sophie promise to never wear black to her funeral. Sophie buttons the top button of her purple dress. Keeping this promise has been hell.

"Hey," Matt enters the room softly. Sophie can't look at him. The last five days she hasn't been able to look at anyone. If she does, she'll break. Matt doesn't touch her. He just looks at her. Her dark hair pulled back in a tight bun. Her makeup simple and perfect. The dress and heels matching. But she isn't his Sophie. His Sophie doesn't hold her shoulders forced back. There's no tightness around her lips. Her eyes don't stare out, trying to block everything. Blocking pain. Blocking loss. Blocking grief.

"Hey," Her voice is hollow.

"We're ready when you are." She nods. Before leaving, he stops her," Soph, you aren't wearing your necklace."

She freezes. Her necklace. The only thing of Mom that she has left. How could she forget? She rarely takes it off. Matt goes to her jewelry box. He finds the simple piece easily. She tries not to burst into tears. _Breathe, Mar'i_ she scolds herself. Matt hands it to her.

"Thank you," She moves stiffly. Matt reaches out, taking her hand.

"Hey," his voice is soft and kind. She can't look at him," You- I know you're hurting. Just please know you're safe around us. You can hurt. We'll-_I'll_ protect you."

"I know." She pulls her hand away," I just need to get through today."

"Okay," He says. There's a small pause," I love you, Mar'i."

Her shoulders relax the tiniest bit," I love you too, Matthew."

They walk down to the main entrance. No one is wearing black. Sophie wishes someone would. She can't look at her brother and sisters. Richie holds their father's hand. His bright blue eyes too heavy and old for his four years. Jania holds Sapphire. Sapphy doesn't so much as cry. She just buries her head in Jania's shoulder. Emerald cries in Uncle Garfield's arms. She hasn't really stopped since they got the news. Sophie tries not to cry hearing her. There's a look of pity for them, for her.

The drive to the church is quiet. Sophie sits next to Matt, but doesn't touch him. Most of the adults aren't sure what to say. Their kids have become such a tight knit family that they feel like invaders. Dick keeps his eyes on the road, even though he isn't driving. Lila holds Emerald's hand. She hums softly, trying to comfort her cousin. Everyone lets the soft melody wash over them. Lila brushes a few tears away with her thumb.

"What the hell?" Victor frowns as they pull up by the church. People with signs are shouting, barely held back by the police. Sophie sees a few of the signs. Even with her dyslexia, it isn't hard for her to figure out what the signs say. _Freaks burn in hell. Aliens don't belong here. God hates you._

_Please, X'hal,_ she prays, _give me the strength to make it through this. Please, God, give me the strength to show mercy to these people._

"I can get everyone inside," Matt says.

"No," Everyone is shocked to hear Richie speak," Today is for Mommy. They are not allowed to ruin it with hate. God does not love those who hate. He pities them."

Jania swears she can see Sophie's mouth twitch with a bit of pride. Victor looks around the car. All four Grayson children stare at the crowd with different emotions, but they all share the same glint in their eyes. A determination to honor their mother. Matt offers to take the kids inside, but they refuse. They decide to follow through with the original plan. They unbuckle the kids and open the doors. Richie holds tight to Sophie's hand as they push through the crowd. Sapphire clings to Jania. Emerald and Lila follow behind everyone else. Emerald trips, her hand slipping out of Lila's.

"Lala!" Emerald cries out. People in the crowd began shouting at her. She feels a hand grab her arm. She's yanked backwards. A woman is screaming in her face. Telling Emerald her mother was a whore and God hates her. Spit hits her face. Emerald tries to pull away, crying out," Lemme go! Lemme go!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL!" The woman screams. A strong hand pulls her away from the woman. Emerald feels herself being lifted into the air. She sees Matt's red hair and buries her face in his shoulder.

"FUCK OFF," Matt roars at the woman.

"FREEDOM OF SPEECH, FREAK!"

Emerald feels Matt straighten his spine, raising himself to his full height of 6 foot 2. The crowd quiets enough for everyone to hear him say," If you're hiding behind the first amendment to scream at a little girl who just lost her mother, then you need to take a hard look at yourself."

With that, Matt walks away. Emerald still holding his shirt, shaking like a leaf. Matt holds her tight. Once they're inside, Matt takes her into the bathroom to wash her face. Matt lets the cool water fall over a paper towel. He takes care to wipe her cheeks and her eyes. It hurts to see the pain in them. Matt has helped raise the triplets over the last three and a half years, since their parents had been taken. He's particularly close to Emerald because of their shared love of stories and science.

"Map," Emerald's voice hurts to hear as much as Sophie's did," Is Mommy in hell?"

Matt's not sure what to say. He doesn't believe in God or X'hal or anything, not the way that the Graysons do. But he will not confirm that awful woman's words to this sweet little girl. He dries her cheeks and gives her a small smile," Your mother was an amazing woman. She did so much good and loved so much that I don't believe she's in hell."

"Am I going to hell?" She asks softly.

"No, baby," He shakes his head," you aren't going to hell. You know why?"

"Why?" She sniffs. Matt wipes her nose.

"Because you are just like your mom. You have her heart. You love just as much as she does. You have such a kind soul and a beautiful mind. You are not going to hell. I'll fight the Devil himself to make sure of it." Matt waits to see some sort of a smile from her. Instead her eyes just stare at him, sad and scared. But a little bit of hope. He hugs her tightly, kissing her fiery curls," I love you, Emmy."

"I love you too."

Matt carries her to the auditorium. There's hundreds of people there. Heroes, civilians, government officials. All there to pay their respects to Koriand'r Grayson. Matt slides next to Jania, who takes Emerald. Emerald fiddles with Jania's necklace.

"Everything ok?" She asks.

"A protester grabbed her," Matt whispers," She's ok now. As much as she can be."

"I'm tempted to get my bow and use the crowd as target practice." Jania rocks Emerald.

"Not today, sis. Right now we worry about them." Jania nods. Neither of them is sure when they became the leaders. They hadn't realized they _were_ the leaders until their parents mentioned it a few days ago. They weren't sure when it happened or why them. Sophie always took care of everyone- made sure everyone was doing their chores, eating, getting enough sleep, training, etc. But she was more of a mom. They made sure everyone was ready for a fight. Never taking a risk that wouldn't end up benefitting them more than hurting them. Them being the leaders definitely worked out well. They balance each other out- Matt's need to over analyze and Jania's rashness, her medical knowledge and his strategy. But they never hesitate to make sure their friends are ok. Heroes may come and go, but friends are forever.

"Ganja," Emerald sniffs," I still hear them."

"Here," Lila takes Emerald. She sings the lullaby Aunt Kor'i used to sing softly. Sapphire and Richie hear it. They slide off the bench and sit beside Lila. She sings a little louder, wrapping an arm around Sapphire. Richie presses close to her side. The triplets let the words fall over them. They all wish it was Sophie singing to them. Lila can't sing in Tamaranian.

"They're about to get started," Jania says. Lila stops as the priest walks to his podium.

"Today we gather here to honor Koriand'r Grayson. A devoted friend, a loving mother, a beloved wife, a courageous hero. Koriand'r came to our world, not of her own free will, but out of necessity. Staying was a choice she made. She stayed and became one of this city's finest heroes," The priest smiles at the Titans," As time went on, she fell in love and married Richard Grayson. The two welcomed their eldest daughter Mar'i Sophie in July of 2021. Then later were blessed with Sapphire Estella, Emerald Luna, and Richard Bruce in April of 2035."

He pauses," I could stand here for hours, talking about God's plan. His will and love for all. How this applies to Koriand'r, but that's not what she wanted. She wanted her loved ones to tell stories about her. Of the times you've shared together. Memories that you have. The stage is open for all."

He steps down. For a minute, no one moves. Then Parker stands. He goes up to the stage and looks out at the crowd," I meet Aunt Kor'i when I was 13. I knew who she was, seen her on the news and all, but my birth parents told me she wasn't someone to ever associate with. Then I had to work on a project with Matt. Matt went over to the tower everyday, so I had to go over too. I remember being scared. I'd heard all sorts of bad things about her. But I remember her smiling at me. This warm, bright smile that made me smile. When I went to live with them, she would still give me this smile. She called me bumgorf. She was the mom I wish I'd had growing up. Aunt Kor'i loved everyone and everything so much. It didn't matter who was, she considered everyone her family."

Parker feels tears falling from his eyes, but he keeps going," She would ask me how I felt, everyday. And some days I would tell her I felt awful. Aunt Kor'i just nodded and told me that was ok. I was having a bad day and it would pass soon enough. I wish I could say that I remembered the last words I said to her. I don't. But I will remember Aunt Kor'i."

A few people go after him. Mostly people talk about what a kind woman her mother was. Sophie is ready to stand up and scream at everyone. Mom was kind, they get it, but she was more than just that. Aunt Raven takes the stage. Sophie prepares for another story about how kind her mother is.

"The most afraid I'd ever seen Kor'i was just before Mar'i was born. She and I were talking about kids when Mar'i started kicking. I want you all to know, Kori's children didn't kick lightly. Her stomach was like a patchwork of bruises. I made a comment on it and there was this moment of confusion. I explained to her that typically women don't get bruises on their stomachs when the baby kicks. She started to panic and it took me a little while to calm her down. She wasn't stupid. Having a half Tamaranian, half human child wasn't something she took lightly. Kor'i was terrified of how the world would treat her kids because of their obvious heritage," Raven smiles a bit," But then I reminded her something she told our team years ago. There are always going to be people who are mean and judge you based on where you're from or what you look like. There's also the people who won't and they are the ones that really matter.

"When Kor'i and I met I could barely stand to be in the same room as her. Now, I miss her more than anything. She was my sister, a woman I was proud to raise my children around. Yes, she was kind. But she was also brave and strong and powerful. Something I hope her children remember." Sophie feels Matt's hand slide into hers. She pulls away. Everyone's breath catches in their throats when the triplets go up on stage. Emerald holds a sheet of paper and Sapphire's hand. Sophie and her father try not to burst into tears.

"Mommy didn't get to see us walk for the first time." Emerald begins," Mommy never spent a Christmas with us. She wasn't there for our birthdays. Mommy never got to kiss us good night after a nightmare. She never saw Sopie with Map, when they are really happy. She never got her happily ever after with Daddy."

"Mommy won't get to see any of us get married," Sapphire takes over as Emerald starts to cry again," She won't get to see any grandbabies. She won't be there to help us with heartbreaks or bad things. But-but-"

Sapphire can't keep going. She bursts into tears. She and Emerald sink to the ground and cry. For a second, everyone just watches them cry. The Gems have always acted older than their age, but watching them break down now, both of them crying out for their mother, it hits most of them just how young they are. And how much they want to say it's ok she's gone, even though it isn't. Matt is up there in a blink, pulling both of them into his arms. Richie, who had been standing with his sisters with his eyes locked on the exit, doesn't cry. He runs. Straight down the aisle away from his sisters, outside.

"Richie!" Matt shouts. Raven and Artemis take the girls from him. Before he can move, they all hear a scream. It's loud and painful and scared. Matt's never run faster than after hearing that noise. Richie is on the front steps of the church, sitting in a tight ball. He screams again, a dark blue glow starting in the middle of his chest. Lila comes out behind Matt.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" She yells. Richie screams again. A burst of starbolt energy explodes from him. It doesn't get far. Lila uses her magic to raise a bubble around him. As the energy inside the bubble fades, Lila lets it drop. Matt grabs her arm as she stumbles a bit," I'm okay. Get him."

Matt grabs Richie. He's still screaming and fights the older boy. Matt grunts in pain as Richie cracks the rib Sophie broke earlier this week. Richie yells in Tamaranian," IRA, IRA, IRA!"

"I got you, buddy," Matt helps Lila and Richie inside. Several heroes are halfway to them. Matt whispers to Lila," How'd you get there so fast?"

"Magic," She mutters, wincing. She's not actually supposed to be doing magic. Since she and Luke fought, both have been drained. Lila tucks a strand of her now pure green hair behind a pointed ear. Richie is still fighting Matt, shouting in Tamaranian. Dick reaches them.

"You two should sit down," He says," I'll take him."

Matt hands the boy to his father, wincing as he and Lila take their seats again. Lila leans into Parker's shoulder, breathing a little harder than usual. People keep going up, once again talking about Kor'i. But now they talk about memories they have of her with her kids. The way her face lit up when Sophie took her first steps. When she found out she was expecting the triplets. How she cried when Sophie had to be hospitalized with a respiratory infection at 10 months old. How she sang to the triplets every night she was with them. How she fought for her children day in and day out.

"Babe, do you want to say anything?" Matt asks. Sophie looks up at the stage. Then at all the people waiting for the next person to say something. She can see herself walking up there and… and what? What would she say? That the last thing her mother said was I love you? The color Sophie turned when her mother blatantly asked about her and Matt? That for a brief moment she'd been happy. The smiles on her family's face. The fact she sang loudly for everyone to hear the next morning. How much it hurt when she found out Mom died. Sophie just shakes her head.

"I believe that there is something special planned for you all before we go to the gravesite," The priest says after the last person speaks," A special song sung by Miss Delilah Logan."

Lila walks to the stage, her fists gripping the bottom of her skirt. She looks at them all before sitting at a piano. Then she stands up, her voice carrying in the quiet room," Aunt Kor'i loved Earth music. Nothing sad or dark. She liked songs that spoke of love and hope, especially this song. It reminds me of her. She encouraged me to sing whenever she could. So this song is for her. For the love and praise she gave me. For being my singing partner more than once. I miss you, Aunt Kor'i."

Lila takes her seat again. As her fingers press the keys, she begins to sing:

_I'll tell the world, I'll sing a song_

_It's a better place since you came along_

_Since you came along_

_Your touch is sunlight through the trees_

_Your kisses are the ocean breeze_

_Everything's alright when you're with me_

Luke smiles listening to her sing. The song does remind him of Aunt Kor'i. He recalls a day when he broke one of Sophie's dolls. She'd taken his hand and told him he had to be honest, even when he didn't want to. That little bit of truth would help him in the future. He hopes she's right.

_And ah ah ah ah ah, you're my favorite thing_

_Ah ah ah ah ah, all the love that you bring_

_But it feels like I've opened my eyes again_

_And the colors are golden and bright again_

_There's a song in my heart, I feel like I belong_

_It's a better place since you came along_

_It's a better place since you came along_

Parker thinks of the first and last christmas with Aunt Kor'i. Her tickling Sophie, chasing her through the air. The snow globe he made her, with Tamaran and Earth circling each other. She'd hugged him when she opened it. He remembers her saying she loved it. He wishes he got one more Christmas morning with her.

_I see the whole world in your eyes_

_It's like I've known you all my life_

_We just feel so right_

_So I pour my heart into your hands_

_It's like you really understand_

_You love the way I am_

_And ah ah ah ah ah, you're my favorite thing_

_Ah ah ah ah ah, all the happiness you bring_

_But it feels like I've opened my eyes again_

_And the colors are golden and bright again_

_And the sun paints the skies and the wind sings her song_

_It's a better place since you came along_

_It's a better place since you came along_

Raven, Garfield, and Victor remember when Kor'i told them all she was pregnant with Sophie. The way her eyes seemed to shine a little brighter. They remember her smile-from that cocky first one she gave to the one she would give them every day to the shy, concerned smiles she'd give in private. The way she beamed on her wedding day. All their hearts ache for their friend.

_Ah ah ah ah ah_

_Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh_

_Ah ah ah ah ah_

_Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh_

_Now I'm alright, now I'm alright_

_Everything's alright_

Sophie feels Sapphire and Emerald pull on her sleeves. She pulls them close. They'll be ok. All of them will be. They just need to make it through this. They can do it. Mom would want them to make it through this.

_Cause it feels like I've opened my eyes again_

_And the colors are golden and bright again_

_There's a song in my heart, I feel like I belong_

_It's a better place since you came along_

_It's a better place since you came along_

Lila sniffs and wipes her eyes as she walks back to her seat. People clap for her, many touched by the song. She slides next to her father, who wraps an arm around her, kissing her temple. It takes four men to carry Mom's coffin. Sophie watches as the polished wood passes by. She wants to scream. To cry. To run away. She walks just behind the men carrying her mother, holding each of her sister's hands. With every step they take, Sophie squeezes their fingers a little tighter. The gems squeeze her hands just as hard. The sisters keep their heads held high, something Sophie learned from their mother. The streets have been blocked off as they walk. Many civilians stop in their everyday lives to watch them. They lower their heads, take off their hats, show their respect. Sophie is vaguely aware of their father and Richie coming up beside them. Dad take Sapphire's hand.

They walk together, hand in hand. United as a family would be. But Sophie know right now they are anything but a family. They are broken and scared and in pain. Alone because none of them know how to ask for help. They watch as her coffin is lowered into the ground. Emerald starts to cry again. Sophie releases Sapphire's hands to pick up Emerald. She rocks her little sister. It hurts to look at Emerald. She looks just like Mom. People disperse, some talking in groups others making phone calls. Victor offers to take the kids back to the tower, which Sophie and Dick both agree is a good idea. Garfield and Wally go with him.

Many head back to the church for the reception. Sophie stands in front of the grave watching it fill with dirt. It gets hard for her to breathe. She imagines her mother in the coffin, hitting the sides, begging someone to please, please hear her. She practically feels the dirt filling her lungs. She wants to dig her mom up, part of her convinced if she can just reach her, her mom is fine. She's fine. She's fine.

"Hey," Jania comes up beside her," What are you thinking about?"

"Something impossible," Sophie answers.

"Denial," Jania says simply. Sophie looks at her friend," I've lost someone before, Soph. At Lian's funeral, I remember thinking all day that this was stupid. She was ok, they were all wasting their time."

Sophie turns to face Jania. Her face is hard as she speaks coldly," My mother is dead. She isn't coming back. I've accepted it. I'm fine."

Sophie looks back at the tombstone. _Bye, Mom. I love you_ she thinks. Sophie doesn't go to the reception. She doesn't want to deal with all the people telling her their sorry for her loss. She doesn't care about them. She finds Matt, murmuring to him she wants to go home and she can't fly. He nods. After telling Lila where they're going, he runs her home. They go up to their room, his before she started sleeping in there with him. Sophie sits on their bed, pulling her shoes off.

"Do you need anything?" He asks.

"I don't know," She shakes her head. Then, hesitantly, she asks," You've gone back in time before right?"

Matt understands immediately," Sophie, no."

"It's only five days. Five days, that won't mess anything up," She argues, aware of how desperate she must sound.

"No, it's not just five days," Matt is adamantly against changing time. Uncle Barry has done it too much, messing with the timeline in ways most of them couldn't understand. Once Matt learned about Flashpoint (sometime around his 8th birthday), he'd made a promise to never change the timeline," Ok, it isn't. I change that and it has consequences."

"So?" Sophie's voice breaks," She's my mom. I lost her again."

"I lost my parents the same day you did. I wanted to go back and change time," He tells her," But then nothing would be like it is. Our team never would have gone through some of the shit we have that made us stronger. You might not be as close with Jania or Parker or me as we are. We might not be together. There are consequences that you have to consider."

"I just want my mom back," She says.

"I know. But I can't. It's too risky." Sophie doesn't look at him," Soph? Babe?"

"Can you leave me alone?" Her voice is cold again. Matt nods.

He stops at the door," I love you, Mar'i."

She doesn't say anything. It's dead silent before he leaves. Sophie throws her shoe at the wall. She rips her hair tie out. Fuck everyone! Fuck Matt and his bullshit rules! Fuck Lila and her stupid song! Fuck Jania, fuck Parker, fuck Luke! Fuck all of them! She's been acting like their mom for almost four years. She fought in their places for two fucking months! She _never_ asked them for anything. Nothing, not once. She just wants her mom back.

Sophie takes off her make up and puts on a black tank top and sleep shorts, just because she can. She climbs under the sheets. It's not even four pm. Sleep is hours away. Instead, she just lays there. The sheets are cool on her skin. She watches the sun set on the ocean. A ghost quietly washes over her.

She's little, maybe five years old. Mom had taken her to the beach, just the two of them. Sophie walks along the shore, holding her mother's hand, shrieking with laughter each time the waves crash over her toes. Mom laughs before swing her into the air.

"Mommy!" Sophie laughs," put me down!"

"Why would I do that?" Mom teases. She rests Sophie on her hip. Sophie takes in her mother. Her soft green eyes that look at her with so much. Long fiery hair falling down her back. Her wedding bands catching in the sunlight as she pushes curls from Sophie's eyes.

"Look, Mommy," Sophie points at the tower," Do you think Daddy can see us?"

"I do not know if Daddy has the vision capability of seeing us, Nightstar," Mom takes her in," Do you know something, my star?"

"I know lots of things, Mommy."

Mom laughs at this," I know that, but do you know how much I love you?"

"More than anything on the planet."

"No. I love you more than anything in the universe."

Sophie thinks about this for a second," Mommy, do you know how much I love you?"

"How much?"

"I love you more than I love zorkaberries and pizza!" She exclaims. Mom laughs hugging her tight. Kor'i takes her into the ocean, teaching Sophie how to open her eyes under the water. The ghost fades as she comes up for air. The sun has long since set. Sophie rolls over, trying to remember the rest of the memory. All that comes to mind is her running into her father's arms, announcing she loved him more than ice cream. Him laughing as Mom explained it a bit then telling her he loves her more than coffee. She squeezes her eyes shut. That Dad was gone. The triplets might as well have lost both parents. Sophie feels a few tears slide down the bridge of her nose. God, she wants everything to stop. She wants the days to stop. She wants the pain in her chest to stop. She wants the villains to leave them alone.

Mostly, she wants her mom to be here. So she can tell her just one more time how much she loves her. To hug and kiss her one more time. To hear her say Nightstar one more time. Just one more time.

Please?

**Author's note: God, I think I started crying at least twice writing this. The song Lila sings is Better Place by Rachel Plattern. I had a few songs I wanted to put here, but that one fit best. Again there will be a few more chapters of this story. Request fic, Still family, and Leverage will be updated, blah, blah, blah. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**


End file.
